It is quite normal to feel nervous or even anxious when you are faced with a daunting social situation. Making a speech before a crowd. Trying to start a conversation with that cute stranger next to you at the bar. Being dragged onto the dance floor. It’s perfectly normal to feel nervous or agitated in any of these situations. In some people they can actually lead to severe physical and mental stress, commonly known as social anxiety. The first step in overcoming social anxiety is understanding why many of us react so strongly when facing social interaction.

There are many causes of shyness, but a few common traits and triggers are easily identified. People with low self esteem typically suffer from some degree of social anxiety. Fears of rejection and excessive concern over other people’s approval are also common drivers. The memory of a past social blunder can also result in feelings of anxiety that hinder a person’s ability to socially interact.

If you suffer from social anxiety, or even just common shyness, there are some tips that can be utilized to reduce or even eliminate nervousness in uncomfortable social situations.

Begin making little changes in your behavior

Acknowledge the people you encounter. Nod, smile, and say hello. Whatever’s appropriate.

Keep your eyes focused on the person you’re talking with. You come off as confident when you look a person in the eye.

Go out of your way to strike up a conversation with a co-worker. Nothing high pressure. Just talk about weekend plans or some other chit-chat subject.

By taking these small steps, over time you will begin to build confidence in your ability to socially interact.

Make an attitude adjustment

There are a couple of changes you need to make to the way you think and react in social interactions. Recognize and acknowledge that you will not ‘get it right’ every time. And that that’s okay. Also realize that people are not going to ridicule you when you do ‘get it wrong’.

You will occasionally trip when dancing. You will occasionally fumble your words when giving a presentation. And you will occasionally come off looking silly when trying to hit on a stranger in a bar. We all do.

Have stuff to talk about

Small talk drive you crazy? Become knowledgeable in current events and other areas that interest you. Have an opinion. Share it.

Become a better conversationalist

Don’t simply ask questions that lead to simple yes-no answers. Try to ask open ended questions or make broad comments that will encourage more discussion.

Speak in a slightly louder voice

If you are a shy individual, chances are you tend to speak a little more quietly or subdued than most people. Moderately raising your voice when speaking will communicate confidence and improve your presence.

Overcoming social anxiety can be as simple as adopting simple changes to your behavior. Beyond these simple changes, there are also a variety of social anxiety self help programs available. One of the most powerful self help social anxiety programs is Social Anxiety Secrets by Dr. Todd Snyder. His program utilizes both downloadable e-book and audio materials to provide a step by step plan to cure shyness and social anxiety.

Click to read a review of Social Anxiety Secrets.

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